


Worth The Wait

by englishlitnerd



Category: X-Men: First Class (2011) - Fandom
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-31
Updated: 2013-03-31
Packaged: 2017-12-07 02:40:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 17,658
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/743235
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/englishlitnerd/pseuds/englishlitnerd
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Originally posted on a kink meme in response to a prompt about Raven wanting to give her virginity to someone she trusts so she asks Charles.  A story about Raven learning about her own sexuality before the events of X-men: First Class.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Worth The Wait

Raven had been thinking about it for a while now. 

Working at the restaurant is really what had started it. Though she wouldn’t necessarily call herself ‘friends’ with her fellow waitresses, Raven did spend a lot of time with them. 

They all smoked cigarettes in the back alleys during breaks, they worked in pairs to refill ketchup bottles and restock the sugar, and they always took care of each other when a male customer took the unwanted attention too far. An easy camaraderie had developed between all the girls and Raven, unaccustomed to the regular company of anyone but Charles, drank it in.

It was during one of these smoke breaks that the subject of sex came up. Raven knew a little about the act itself, of course. She had to sit through the same high school film strips as the rest of her classmates and she’d heard the occasional jerk bragging about a conquest as she passed by the locker room. However, there were still gaps in her knowledge. Charles’ parents (she refused to see them as her own and really could hardly stand to acknowledge that Sharon was the reason Charles was on Earth) certainly hadn’t wanted to discuss sex with her. And Charles (her sweet wonderful savior) had blushed scarlet when she’d asked him what was happening when they’d found two cats in heat behind the mansion the summer after she’d moved in.

The specifics were still fuzzy to her though. Maybe if she had known more it wouldn’t have frightened or surprised her as much when the girls started talking about bloody sheets and intense pain. Maybe her stomach wouldn’t have twisted as much when tall, beautiful Mary had paled as she recounted being sent away for the end of her senior year and missing her high school graduation to give birth at the house of a severe faced relative who shouted at her about Jezebels and harlots and the perils of Hell. That evening she hadn’t been able to meet Charles’ eyes and had suffered strange nightmares all night long.

A few days later, the girls were once again standing in a circle passing around the cigarette pack. Raven pressed a cigarette between her lips, sneaking glances back and forth and adjusting her finger hold accordingly. She quickly covered her cough on the first inhale and nodded in agreement when the girls began to chatter about how long they’d needed their nicotine fix.

The conversation soon steered over to sex again but this time the tone was different. Raven blushed as she listened to Mary talk about smoking cigarettes as she lounged naked with a tall Frenchman in the afterglow of their love making. Raven giggled nervously as Lisa described the policeman who’d walked right past her car when she’d been in the backseat with her skirt hiked around her waist and a head between her thighs. 

And Raven’s stomach coiled uncomfortably when Stacy told them all about a customer with beautiful blue eyes who’d flirted with her and taken her out for ice cream. When she’d told him she lived with roommates who wouldn’t allow men to visit, he’d led Stacy into a quiet alleyway and fingered her, his tongue tangling with hers to muffle the noise of her orgasm. Raven tried not to remember the times she’d seen Charles, with those damnable blue eyes, talking to Stacy when he’d visited the restaurant. 

Mary had turned expectantly to Raven then and Raven panicked, muttering an excuse about a bathroom so she could escape back inside.

She’d spent a while trying to concoct a believable virginity story, rehearsing it in her head as she walked to work. She was determined to be prepared to fit in the next time they discussed sex. However, suddenly the dishwashers had begun taking breaks with the women, chatting them up in the back alley and effectively putting an end to their girl talk and Raven’s new education.

That was where it started, but it wasn’t where it ended.   
_____

Raven suddenly found herself dwelling on those conversations at the strangest of times: making coffee at work, when she was alone at home in front of the television while Charles studied at the library, across from Charles at the breakfast table as he licked his sticky jam covered fingers, and late at night in her bed when she’d wake up from fleeting dreams that left her pressing her thighs tightly together to try and relieve the deep aching pressure.

She started seeing couples everywhere. They were in front of her in the grocery store, sharing kisses over their peaches. They were in the restaurant playing footsy. One night she and Charles were walking home from a late night foreign film he’d insisted on seeing. He was talking the way he always did when he got passionate, his hands animated and his voice rising in pitch, when they rounded the corner and stumbled upon a couple. They were pressed against a storefront window, kissing passionately. His thigh was between her legs and when she squinted, Raven could definitely see tongues sliding back and forth.

“Avert your eyes.” Charles said sharply, grabbing her by the wrist and tugging her to the other side of the street. He immediately picked up the thread of his lecture and began again, too distracted to notice the fact that Raven kept peering over her shoulder until they had become mere shadows in the night.

\-----

Raven decided it was time to stop dwelling on this. When a handsome blonde teenager sat in her section, asked for coffee and then stayed all afternoon, she smiled coquettishly at him, testing the waters. He smiled back, a big goofy grin and left her a five dollar tip. When he was back the next day, introduced himself as Andy, and asked her to a movie at the end of her shift, she accepted.

He bought her popcorn and candy and directed her towards the back row. She let him put an arm around her shoulder and half an hour into the very boring film, did not object when he leaned over to kiss her. She experimented as they kissed, trying out different hypotheses, different methods, and collecting each moan and each gasped breath as part of her results. Charles would be proud, she thought. 

Just then, Andy fitted a hand over the curve of her breast. Well, maybe not.

She didn’t feel the same thrill deep in her stomach that her friend’s stories had sparked but still she allowed him to leave his hand there as they kissed through the end of the film.   
She straightened her skirt and, as the house lights came on, she stood up and shook his hand. “It was nice to meet you.”

When she came home, Charles looked up eagerly from his notes but frowned upon catching sight of her kiss swollen mouth and rumpled hair. He opened and closed his mouth before he turned back towards his notes and began to write again, the pen ink blotting as he pressed down with more force than necessary. “Call next time you’re going to be late.”

______

She liked Rob. Unlike many of Charles’s other friends, he didn’t ignore her. In fact, he typically went out of his way to make her comfortable and relaxed. And his eyes were a beautiful blue.

Tonight, she sat in a booth at the back of the bar with Rob, watching and laughing with him as Charles got more and more drunk and struck out with woman after woman.

“Man needs new material.” Rob laughed after Raven parroted Charles’s pick up lines from across the room.

She nodded in agreement. “I need another coke.”

“I’ll get it for you.” Rob said, pushing her back down into her seat and heading up to the bar. 

Raven watched him go, surveying him thoughtfully. He was strong and handsome and older. He might do fine.

When he returned she smiled and batted her eyes, unconsciously imitating the many women she’d seen Charles hit on time after time.

To her surprise, Rob smiled back and pressed his thigh against hers when he sat beside her. “So tell me more about you, Miss Raven.”

Another friend of Charles, Tim, made his way over to them a few minutes later. He seemed oblivious to their wish for privacy and the game of footsie they were playing under the table. In fact, he completely ignored Raven in favor of pushing at Rob’s arm. “Dude, what’s the deal with Missy? Didn’t you date her?” He pointed vaguely behind him, and Raven supposed poor unfortunate Missy was back there somewhere, unaware she was about to be hit on by him.

Rob made a disbelieving noise in the back of his throat. “Umm, I don’t know if I’d call it that. We fucked for a while. She’s a total slut.” 

Uninformed as she may have been, that word Raven knew and the warm desire turned to ice in her stomach. That stupid expression Sharon used to use when she and Charles were children suddenly floated through her mind. No one buys a cow when they can get the milk for free. She remembered how she’d hated that expression even as a ten year old. Even when she didn’t completely understand it, she’d understood how ridiculous and hypocritical and utterly unfair it was. 

For a moment, Raven entertained the thought of shifting into a man, becoming her pseudo brother, and staying that way. She wasn’t looking to get married right now. But she also wasn’t looking to be judged, not for an emotion that she knew men felt just as strongly, a feeling that they were allowed to freely express. Hell, Charles seemed to have felt it with half of the female campus. She’d also never heard him use the word “slut” afterwards, and for a moment she loved him so fiercely she could barely stand it.

She scooted away from Rob and looked around for Charles. He materialized beside her immediately, her coat already in his hand. They walked home quietly together. She linked their fingers together and Charles squeezed her palm gently but she didn’t speak, too lost in her thoughts, and he didn’t ask.

_____

Raven stopped flirting for a while after that. She didn’t stop wanting though. Her dreams at night were still confusing, still troubling, and she began pressing her fingers down firmly over her panties, feeling the moisture seeping through. She wasn’t sure if it made the ache better or worse.

In the mornings she quizzed Charles, who was becoming increasingly paranoid about exams every day. Afterwards, she’d drag him to breakfast at various cafes and make him buy her breakfast as a reward for her patience when helping him study. 

“Chocolate croissant and a cappuccino please.” Raven said, smiling up at the pleasant young woman taking their order.

“And for your boyfriend?” she asked, gesturing at Charles with her pencil.

Raven stopped, her eyes widening. “Um-“

Charles laughed, looking up from his textbook. “Scrambled eggs, toast, black coffee.” He winked at Raven and placed a hand over hers. “And bring my girl scrambled eggs too. She needs a little fattening up.”

He made an exaggerated point of calling her “darling” “sweetheart” and “my love” all through their meal and soon she was giggling just as hard, scooting their chairs together as she lay her head on his shoulder and batted her eyes up at him. 

“That look is lethal.” Charles declared, kissing her on the top of her head before he pulled her to her feet to help her on with her coat. She blushed and crossed her arms over her chest self-consciously. He carefully steered her out of the restaurant with a hand on the small of her back and Raven heard an elderly couple whispering about the days when they had looked at each other like that.

This only made Raven blush harder but the second they were out of the restaurant Charles looped an arm around her waist. “Let’s go Sweetheart. I have more studying to do.”

She giggled obligingly as he continued the game the whole way home, but the people in the restaurant had given her something to consider. Raven carefully watched the reactions of everyone they passed. No one looked at them strangely. Most didn’t even give them a second look. They looked normal, natural, like any two people in love might look. She hadn’t considered that before, hadn’t considered him before.

Suddenly she did. Suddenly Charles seemed the most natural choice in the world. 

That night her dreams stopped being vague and confusing and when she awoke and pressed her hand between her thighs, it was Charles she saw.  
______

Raven clearly remembered the first years of her life. Nine years of acute hunger and digging through dumpsters were not easily forgotten, even under Charles’s generous care. 

The smell of garbage still made her queasy and Charles often teased her about the frequency of her bathing habits, but unlike him, she knew that being clean was a luxury not afforded to everyone. 

She’d spent years sleeping on the hard ground, curled under trees or hidden in bushes, with only the clothing she wore when she transformed as protection from rain and snow. When she’d first begun crawling into bed with Charles after she woke up cold or frightened after a dream, he’d been perplexed and offered her extra blankets. He couldn’t understand how much more comforting body heat could be to someone to whom warmth was so foreign. 

She’d watched many families in those early years, observing them in their backyards from a perch in a tree high above or through their windows as they ate their dinners and gathered around the television together. She’d watched them kiss and hug and care for each other, and she remembered her own family. She was outside, cold and hungry because of a family who hadn’t wanted her; they hadn’t needed her and so she wouldn’t need them. 

Charles had saved her; for Raven, no other description was accurate. He was her savior and, when he blushed and protested fiercely the first time she’d told him so, she looked for a new word, trying and discarding many before finally settling on friend. So it had perturbed her when he had begun to casually introduce her as his sister. Sisters were family and families were obligations, things that you got stuck with that could be discarded at will when they didn’t look enough like you. But friends, friends were the ones you chose to have in your life, the things that you wanted to have with you always. 

She didn’t want a family; she didn’t want a father or a mother or even a brother. But Charles she wanted, now more than ever.

\------

Raven was an excellent watcher. She’d had lots of practice of course, but really she wouldn’t be any good at transforming into people if she couldn’t imitate their behavior. Years of watching had taught her that Charles flushed when he got excited, smirked when he got condescending, and rubbed the bridge of his nose when he got frustrated. She’d known this forever.

Now Raven noticed more. Now she noticed that when Charles talked to a beautiful woman, his blue eyes always slid down to her breasts for a second and nine times out of ten, she never noticed. If the woman liked him and was sitting, she would cross her legs towards him, leaning in to him to whisper into his ear. If she was standing, she’d usually brush his arm or reach up to brush the hair from his eyes. He’d touch her in turn, his hand reaching for her hair or shoulder or elbow. And so it would go. Raven watched pupils dilate, breathing shallow, and skin flush. And then she’d watch them walk away together.

On those nights, when Raven lay alone in bed knowing Charles was just on the other side of the wall and entirely not alone, she closed her eyes and tried not to watch. She pushed the palms of her hands into her face and tried not to see the images that flooded her brain at the sound of quiet moans and squeaking bed springs. Those were the nights she wished she didn’t watch so closely, wished it wasn’t so easy to picture his hands on smooth skin, his lips and tongue on a breast, or the way his face would twist in pleasure. 

Raven found the combination of lust and jealousy unsettling and she stuffed her pillow over her head, determined to ignore the wetness gathering between her thighs and to do something about this SOON, before she went crazy.

\------------

Raven tried to broach the subject with Charles. When they were out together, she’d put her arm in his and lay her head on his shoulder, batting her eyes up at him and smiling dreamily. He’d laugh happily and call her “Darling” all night long but it was still just their game. Then, she started kissing him goodnight every evening. She began by pecking him on the cheek and he seemed to revel in the increased affection and he didn’t protest when she transitioned to a light kiss on the lips. One night though, when he was particularly distracted by his writer’s block and a thick genetics textbook, she leaned down with her lips parted and kissed him for real.

“Raven!” he squawked. He pushed her away nervously and frowned. “I think that’s taking the game a little too far, don’t you?”

She’d blinked at him dumbly for a moment before turning on her heel and locking herself in her room. The next morning she had been ready to try again. As he walked her to work, she stepped closer, putting her arm through his and her head on his shoulders. He tensed immediately and jerked away, stopping to look in a shop window and point out a book he wanted. The set of his shoulders made the message obvious. The game was over.

She thought the lust would leave after that, but it didn’t. It became like an itch she couldn’t scratch, her curiosity continuing to grow. This, Charles, it felt right to her.   
Which was how she found herself standing in front of a mirror staring at the reflection of a petite, thin faced girl with auburn hair and green eyes. She’d begged off sick when Charles had knocked at her bedroom door that evening to accompany him to the bar. Reluctantly he’d left without her and Raven had quickly changed into the borrowed little black dress that now hugged the tiny waist and gentle swell of breasts that she currently possessed.

This was a stupid, reckless idea. Raven knew it, knew that Charles occasionally probed his dates minds to impress them sufficiently. She knew she could be caught and that if he   
did, he might not forgive her. Right now, she just didn’t care.

Charles was nothing if not predictable. She sat alone at the bar for no more than five minutes before he approached her. She had to fight to smile (and not roll her eyes) as he explained genetic mutation to her and she snatched his hand away from his temple and squeezed it flirtatiously as she ordered the rum and coke for herself.   
It was easy from there. 

\------

Half an hour later, he was leading her out of the bar.

“So Lydia, which way do you live?” Charles asked, pressing a quick kiss to her forehead as he raised a hand to hail a cab. 

She hadn’t anticipated this. Raven thought fast. “I, um, I’m not allowed to have boys over. Let’s go to your place.”

Charles chuckled and began to lay kisses down her neck. “That sounds very mysterious. My place is currently full of a sick sister. Your place is best.”

Raven’s jaw clenched as he said “sister” but she pushed him away just enough to look into his eyes. “I know how to be quiet. She’ll never know I’m there.”

Charles looked reluctant but finally nodded, and they climbed into a cab. When they arrived at home and Charles led her to the door, she began to automatically fish around in her purse for her keys. Charles laughed. “Don’t worry Love. I have protection inside.”

Raven blushed as a hot flash of lust surged through her. They were really going to do this. 

Charles led her through the quiet apartment to his bedroom. He glanced worriedly at the door to Raven’s room and her heart skipped a beat. If he saw she was missing, this whole thing was for naught. Pulse pounding wildly in her throat, she grabbed Charles roughly by his shirtfront and kissed him.

Charles immediately responded, pulling her into his bedroom and closing and locking the door behind him. He pulled away from the kiss briefly to pull his shirt over his head. Unsure what to do, Raven imitated him, pulling her dress up and over her head with Charles’s assistance.

Now clad in only a lacy black bra and panties, Raven allowed Charles to steer her towards the bed. She lay back against the pillows gratefully. She was so dizzy and the butterflies in her stomach were worsening by the second. She really wasn’t sure she could do this. 

Then Charles kissed her. She responded hotly, moaning into his mouth. He pulled away with a small chuckle. 

“Quiet. You promised.” 

She nodded and pulled him back to her, their tongues tangling into the kiss. He pulled away and began to mouth his way down her body, raining kisses over her cheeks before he nipped at her neck. He looked up at her, eyes dancing as he moved between her breasts and down to her stomach, laying a kiss at the waistband of her underwear. It tickled and Raven giggled, looking down at him. It was so right but so wrong. 

It was Charles with his dancing eyes and his swollen lips and the hands she’d been dreaming about. But the body he was on top of was too thin. The ribs were showing beneath her bra and the hips he was holding on to were small and narrow, not full. The breasts didn’t fill as much when she breathed heavily. The picture was all wrong and she tangled her fingers in his hair to distract herself, pulling him up for another kiss.

He settled over her, kissing her deeply as he spread her legs with his hands and settled his hips between them. She started, feeling the heat of his erection through their underwear. He was hard. She’d done that. He was hard for her.

“Oh Lydia!” he groaned, low in his throat. “You’re beautiful.”

It was like someone had just drenched her with a bucket of ice water. No, not like this. She pulled away immediately, pushing a confused Charles off of her and standing on shaky legs. “I need to go.” She rasped.

“What?” he asked in confusion, his hand automatically rising to touch his temple. 

She grabbed it quickly and pulled him up. “Please, just find my shoes. I just remembered something I have to do. I can’t explain, just hurry.”

Charles nodded and dropped to his knees, fishing her shoes out from under his mattress as she pulled her dress back over her head. She didn’t even bother to zip it all the way, just snatched her shoes out of his hand and took off. She could feel her disguise slipping and she was thankful he didn’t follow her. 

She collapsed onto the front step, yellow eyed and blue skinned. Her heart was beating wildly. How could this have gone so wrong?

\----------

Raven couldn’t face him. Anger and embarrassment were warring within her. Deep down she knew it was irrational to be seething with anger at a man for calling out another woman’s name in bed, worse for rejecting her, when he had absolutely no idea he had done either. She knew it and she resolved to give herself a couple of days to wallow and then be over it. It wouldn’t do for Charles to ask too many questions.

She spent the whole of the next day in her room. She had barely slept all night so she could hear Charles moving around the apartment. She counted off the steps of his routine on her fingers. Wake up. Start the coffee.   
Shower (she blushed hotly as she heard the water starting and imagined the naked body she’d now seen so much more of). Dress and eat toast or cereal. It was Sunday so cereal was more likely. She listened as he rinsed his dishes, grabbed his bag, and left the apartment for the library.

She wandered around naked for a while, returning briefly to the scene of the crime. His bed was still unmade, the indent on the left pillow from where he had slept just beginning to fade. The right side was still fairly tidy, the pillow fluffed and the sheet still tucked into the two corners. She tried to picture herself in the bed beside him as though they had woken up together this morning, the auburn hair of her disguise splayed across that untouched pillow. She wondered if he would have kissed her good morning and made her breakfast or if he would have tried to hustle her out before his ‘sister’ woke up. Her hand unconsciously drifted down below her belly button. She wondered if she would have been sore when she awoke, if it would have been hard to walk. She wondered if she would have bled on the sheets, if it would have frightened or angered him. She wondered if the body she’d inhabited had even been a virgin. Most of all she wondered if she would have ever told him the truth. 

It was hard to imagine your best friend taking your virginity and never knowing it. But no matter how many times she played the morning over and over in her head, no matter if he kicked her out or kissed her good morning, no matter what scenario occurred, she couldn’t ever picture letting the disguise slip away and him doing anything other than turn away in anger and disgust from her blue form.

Sighing, she returned to her room and dressed and then spent the day lounging around the apartment watching television and trying not to think about the disaster of the night before. At a quarter til seven, she made herself a sandwich and barricaded herself in her room, not ready to deal with Charles just yet. She practiced coughing and lowering her voice to a rasp. “Sorry Charles, I can’t join you for dinner. I’m too sick. I don’t want you to get sick.”

It didn’t even matter, as it turned out. She heard the key in the lock and Charles returning but a female laugh accompanied him. It took Raven a moment to place her; it was a lab partner from his biology class. Her laugh had always grated on Raven; she thought it had on Charles too. Soon someone was banging around with pots and pans in the kitchen and the smell of spaghetti sauce wafted under the door, mingling with their excited chatter. 

Raven waited for the soft knock on her door, waited to be invited to their dinner, but it never came. The lights were still on in the living room when Raven finally fell asleep, well   
after midnight.

It was hard to punish someone by ignoring them when they never noticed.

\--------------

When he still hadn’t spoken to her by Tuesday evening, Charles finally seemed to notice something wasn’t quite right.

“Raven?” he knocked tentatively on her bedroom door.

She ignored it.

“Raven, I know you’re in there. And I know you’re not asleep cause I saw your feet moving a minute ago under the door. I want to talk to you.”

Raven rolled her eyes. She wasn’t about to talk to anyone who had taken three days to even notice her absence from his daily life. She flipped the page of her magazine.

“I picked up Chinese, your favorite.”

“Already eaten, thanks.” Raven called back tightly. Her stomach growled in disagreement.

“Raven. Please. I think you might be mad at me but I don’t know what I’ve done. If we could just talk about it.”

She stood up and grabbed her purse, unwilling to listen anymore. She pulled on a pair of shoes and then hopped out her window onto the fire escape. Ten minutes later she was sitting at a Chinese restaurant, ordering her favorite and for all she knew, Charles was still pleading at her door.

\-----------------

The next night, he tried again.

“Raven, I’ve thought about it and I think I know what I’ve done.”

She paused, blood red nail polish halfway to her big toe and listened intently.

“I’m sorry for bringing that girl home on Saturday night.”

Raven’s eyes unexpectedly filled with tears.

“I know you were sick and trying to sleep. When she ran out of here, I know it caused a commotion and it must have scared you to death. I should have stayed away when you were so sick. If I could do it all over again, I wouldn’t have picked her up.”

Raven blinked a few times, her stomach flipping unhappily. How could someone be so wrong and so right all at once?

\----

By the next afternoon, he was done being nice. Raven was one of the only people in the world who knew it, but when Charles got angry, you did not want to cross his path.   
She could hear him banging around in their hall closet, muttering to himself and, in the process, convincing himself that he was the wronged one in this scenario.  
Raven knew that part of his personality well too and she was not in the mood for when he started hollering hurt accusations at her through the door. She was glad she had to work.

“Raven!” he called through the door. “This is getting absolutely ridiculous. I don’t even know that you’re okay in there. You could be someone pretending to be her. The only reason I even know there’s a second person living here is because of the dirty dishes in the sink.” 

She hardened her resolve. She should have known guilt was going to be the next tactic.

“I’m counting to three and then I’m coming in there. I’m warning you.”

Raven glanced down at her doorknob, reassuring herself that it was locked before she stood up and shimmied out of her pants and pulled her shirt over her head. She had to be at work in half of an hour.

She heard the sound of a hair pin clicking around her lock as she crossed to her closet clad in only her underwear and pulled out a dress. She threw it on her bed and crossed over to the mirror, pulling her blonde hair back into a ponytail as she ignored him. The first years of her life had made her into an excellent lock picker and she had tried to teach Charles when he was twelve. He was, unsurprisingly, hopeless at it, so she knew this was an empty threat.

She turned back towards her bed to pick up the dress and her door swung open. Behind it stood Charles, red faced from anger and eyes comically widened that it had actually worked. A toolbox that normally sat in their hall closet and that she was pretty sure he had never opened before was by his side.

Raven shrieked, covering her bare breasts with small white hands. “Get out! What are you doing in here? I have to go to work!” she cried.

Multiple emotions flickered over Charles’s face for the next few moments before he finally looked down and blushed. “I- Just don’t lock me out anymore.” He finally said, turning on his heel and slamming the door to his own bedroom behind him.

Raven stood rooted to the spot for a long time. Raven may not have known men well but something familiar was nagging at the back of her brain. He looked embarrassed certainly and angry as hell. For a brief moment though as he’d stared at her naked in surprise, another look had flashed in his eyes. She had certainly felt the emotion often enough herself to recognize it in on someone else, especially someone she’d seen aroused only a few days before. She wasn’t positive of course, but Raven was pretty sure it was naked lust that she’d just seen on Charles’s face.

\-------

Raven figured maybe she should be embarrassed that the first person to see her topless would be her own (adoptive) brother. Really though, it made its own kind of sense. Charles was everything to her, had been since that night in the kitchen when he’d asked her to stay. He was home to her- he was familiar and warm and unendingly polite (except when he didn’t want to be) and she couldn’t think of anyone else she’d rather chart unexplored territory with than him.

Except they were still mad at each other. Well, he was still mad, mad and confused and she wasn’t about to apologize and have to explain the whole fiasco to him. She’d sat through his lectures about the ethical implications of becoming someone else before and had no desire to again. He’d hurt her, even if it was an accident. And now she’d hurt him. 

Most people who knew Charles would never know he was holding a grudge. He was still gracious, still smiled through civil conversation, and never raised his voice. Raven wasn’t most people though. She knew that Charles accused with his eyes, wide with hurt at every glance. Normally a very tactile person, he blamed with the shoulder that didn’t brush against yours when you passed in the hallway and the fingers that didn’t graze yours when you passed coffee and butter across the breakfast table. He reproached with each sigh and every slump of his narrow shoulders.

For Raven, who had spent so many years of her life touching no one, acknowledged by no one, really talking to no one, Charles’s form of punishment always felt unbearable. And he knew it.

Saturday night she accepted defeat. Customers had screamed, babies had cried, and she’d spilt coffee down her front that was so hot she’d walked around with blisters between her breasts and her abdomen for most of the night. She ached for the comfort of her best friend.

Once home, she slipped off her blonde persona and watched as her blue skin sealed back together seamlessly. She went into her own room to put on a nightgown but then instead of crawling into her bed, she turned around and slipped into his room. 

“Charles?” she whispered.

The lights were off and he was turned away from her, head face down in a textbook. He started at the sound of her voice, his head snapping up as he automatically reached to wipe the drool from his chin.

She couldn’t help but giggle.

“Raven?” his voice was scratchy, thick with sleep. “Are you ok?”

She stumbled forward, crawling onto the bed beside him before burying her face in his chest.

“Hey, hey now.” He whispered. He settled back against the pillows, wrapping an arm around her to pull her up and press a kiss to her forehead. “What’s wrong?”

Taking a deep breath, Raven tried not to think about the last time she’d been here in this bed, just like this but not like this at all. “I’m sorry.”

Charles tightened his grip. “Me too.” He paused, then took a breath. His next words came out in a rush, hard to comprehend, but Raven understood all the same and all thoughts of lab partners and stupid brunettes in bars were forgotten. “Oh Raven, I missed you.”

\----  
She’d dragged him out of the house laughing the next night, ignoring his weak protests and half hearted gestures towards his books. She declared that he could be an old fogey any night of the week and that tonight they were going dancing.

Charles groaned as she pulled him down the sidewalk. “Raven, I hate dancing.”

“Think of all those expensive dance lessons your mother paid for! You’re letting your skills atrophy.”

“You used to claim I never had any skills at it.” He pointed out. 

She rolled her eyes. “Only because you made me practice the waltz with you and your palms were sweaty and you stepped on my toes.”

“I still step on toes.”

“Well then we’ll do the twist. You won’t even have to lift your feet off the floor that way.” She reasoned.

“I don’t like the twist.” He grumbled.

Raven stopped, stepping close to him and wrapping her arms around his waist. She was taller than him now with her shoes on. She’d never noticed that before. “Please.” She said quietly.

He agreed.  
\-------

As predicted, Charles was awful at everything, even the twist, but he only laughed good-naturedly when Raven teased him about it. He gamely imitated her through the monkey, the freddy, and the shimmy but threw his hands up in the air and declared himself “done” after watching her mash potato across the dance floor.

“Where did you learn all these from anyway?” he asked suspiciously as he leaned against the bar and ordered his fifth beer of the night. 

Raven shrugged. “Television mostly. The girls at work showed me that last one though. I love it!”

He chuckled. “What else have those girls at work been teaching you?”

“Shut up.” She said, pushing at his shoulder. “Are you really not gonna dance with me anymore?”

He sighed. “Let me drink this beer first, then we’ll see.”

He turned around to grab his pint and discovered two. The bartender had also mysteriously disappeared with his change. After much begging and pleading, Raven was allowed to consume the second beer as they sat and watched the dancers wriggle by. 

After she finished her drink, Raven was feeling warm and relaxed all over. She returned to the floor and danced by herself, occasionally shooting him sad looks over her shoulder and then giggling in order to coax him back out to her. 

The music changed to a slow melody and Raven, prepared to reclaim her seat, was surprised when Charles stood up instead. She relaxed into his embrace, comfortable with the press of his chest against hers and thrilling to the feel of his stubbly cheek against her smooth one. She closed her eyes and breathed in, the smell of his aftershave mingling with the alcohol on his breath.

“Looks like you have an admirer.” 

Raven opened her eyes and looked questioningly at Charles, who inclined his head slightly. She followed his eyes to the left and noticed a group of teenage boys staring at them and whispering. 

She giggled again, her cheeks hot.

“What?” Charles asked. “You’re stunning. Don’t you know that?”

Raven shook her head and laid her head on his shoulder. She closed her eyes and breathed in again deeply. “Thanks for dancing with me.”  
\------

They should have taken a cab. Charles was reciting dirty limericks at the top of his voice (and lord knows where he had even learned most of them) and kept stumbling over his own feet. After the third time she’d had to pull him out of the gutter and right around the tenth chorus of “There was an old man from. . .” Raven suggested they get that taxi. The trip was much faster from there on out but she still had to wrap an arm around his waist and teach him to walk in synchronized steps with her to get them up the short flight of stairs.

She offered to make him coffee and get him water, both of which Charles refused as he sat on the couch to remove his shoes. He looked ridiculous in his bare feet and waistcoat, and for a moment she would have sworn he was twelve years old again, caught in the rain without his umbrella and with no one but Raven who noticed.  
She sat down next to him on the couch. “Thank you for tonight.”

“Thank you for being willing to be seen with an old fu-fu-fffudyddy-fuddy-duddy like me.”

She laughed as his tongue tripped over the words. “You are drunk Charles Xavier!” 

He shook his head. “Thank you for pointing out the obvious.” He returned dryly.

“Come on. I’ll help you into bed.” She said, patting him on the knee before she stood up and took his hand.

She pulled on his arm but he pulled back and Raven took a step forward to steady herself and Charles kissed her.

His lips were warm and soft and oh so red. She hesitated and he did the same, holding his breath as he stilled against her. Somewhere in the distance she heard the clock chime, announcing that it was 2am. They should go to bed. She dropped her knee down onto the couch as she pressed her lips against his. He responded immediately, enthusiastically and she felt dizzy at the want she felt behind his kiss. His lips parted and she tasted alcohol but underneath it, mint toothpaste and him. He maneuvered her back onto the couch, angling her head to kiss her more deeply as he tangled his fingers in the long blonde hair. He pulled away briefly to bite kisses along her neck, muttering nonsense phrases to her throat and licking against her pulse point. 

“Raven.” He whispered, nuzzling his nose against her ear. 

She thrilled to the sound, quieter and less dramatic than the way he’d groaned out “Lydia” last week but somehow so much better.

“Charles” she returned, bringing his lips back up to hers and trying to convey her “yes” and her “finally” to him without words.

“Raven.” He murmured again, wriggling his hips to spread her legs. She obliged, spreading her thighs apart as she trailed one of her hands under his shirt to stroke his bare stomach. He pulled at the plunging neckline of her shirt and nuzzled his way between her breasts to suck a kiss there as his other hand slid between her thighs and up under her skirt to really touch.

Raven jerked in shocked arousal and felt her disguise slip away. She slid a blue hand up to touch his face and watched as Charles took in the change and his facial expression shifted. He pushed himself up with his hands and looked at her in guilty confusion. 

“Raven.” He began hesitantly. “I- I’m so drunk.” He sat up and set his head in his hands.

“Charles” she said, placing a hand on his shoulder. 

He looked at her blue hand accusingly and jerked away. “I- I- Forgive me.”

He rose unsteadily to his feet and with a curt nod and an inability to make eye contact, he headed to the bathroom. A moment later the unmistakable sound of retching followed.

\------

In so many ways Charles was not like his mother. Where she was thoughtless he was kind, while she was greedy he had always been generous, and, unlike her, Charles radiated warmth from every pore. In his capacity for denial though, he was her child through and through. 

As a young girl, Raven had watched in bewilderment as Sharon had resolutely ignored everything that didn’t fit into the life she wanted to have. She had smiled blithely that first morning when Charles had introduced a small blonde Raven with ringlets and a death grip on her new brother’s hand, easily accepting that Raven had been suddenly orphaned and in need of a new home. Later when she discovered how little she liked her new foster daughter, Sharon had easily shifted into pretending Raven didn’t exist at all. Raven couldn’t remember speaking more than a few words to her in the last year before Sharon died. Most puzzling of all for Raven though, had been Sharon’s insistence on steadfastly denying all evidence of the extramarital affair that caused her second marriage to crumble all around her. 

Charles was just the same. He ignored problems and arguments when he wanted to, easily convincing himself of what he wanted to see. He’d walked around with a black eye for a week after an argument with his stepfather and Raven remembered sitting at the dinner table with an awful stomach ache while both mother and son talked about their day as though nothing had happened. His tendency was one of the reasons that Charles had decided to study genetics. He was convinced that people were always good at heart and would ultimately accept those that were different, despite the eons of history that he studied that told him differently.

This was why Raven was not terribly surprised when Charles greeted her the morning after they’d kissed with breakfast, a cup of coffee, and no mention of the previous evening. He smiled at her brightly and made small talk about the weather and his thesis and about all the errands he needed to accomplish that day.   
She felt sick. “Can we talk?” she asked hesitantly.

He paled slightly and he pierced his toast with his knife. “Of course we can. We always talk don’t we?” He smiled at her. “Unfortunately right now I have to be going. You know I have to study, final draft due soon and all. We’ll catch each other soon though, yeah?” He stood up abruptly and reached for his bag. 

“What about last night?” she demanded, standing up as well.

He blushed and began to look through his bag, most certainly searching for something that he already knew wasn’t there. “There’s nothing to talk about in regards to last night.   
We went dancing. I was bad at it. You were lovely. We drank too much, me especially, and then we came home and went to bed.”

“That wasn’t all that happened.” She hissed.

“That’s all that happened that was of any consequence. I don’t want to talk about this.”

“Well I do!” she cried. “Last night-“

He cut her off. “Last night meant nothing except that you need to start meeting boys your own age. You’re a lovely girl. The last thing we need is for you and I to get so lonely that we take pity on each other and-”

“PITY!?!” she screeched.

“Poor choice of words.” He said quietly. “I mean it. It didn’t matter. You’ll see that soon too. I don’t intend to talk about this anymore so you might as well stop trying. I’ll see you   
later, yeah?”

With a curt nod, he was out the door.

\------------

Raven had never been good with denial. Charles did act as though he’d forgotten about it, easily slipping into the same old routine. He picked her up from work when he could. They shared meals. He nagged her about picking up her dirty clothes and became exasperated when she forgot to pick up milk. In short, he acted just like a big brother.  
But he wasn’t and she wouldn’t deny that. She couldn’t forget the hungry way he’d looked at her when he’d broken into her room. She couldn’t forget the taste of his mouth and the heat of his lips across her skin. And she wouldn’t forget the hot straining erection that had brushed against her thigh. He wanted her too. He had that night and he would again, if he would just admit it.

It was a girl in a bar that finally made her doubt it. Raven had just sat down and Charles had gone to get them drinks. Raven watched carefully as he began talking to a girl. The words “heterochromia” and “groovy mutation” floated her way and she suddenly couldn’t stand it anymore, couldn’t stand the fact that he could talk about loving mutations all day but couldn’t admit to wanting a mutant.

“Mutant and proud.” The girl, Amy, said. 

Raven’s feet carried her to their side almost before she realized it. “Guess I have to buy my own drink.” She tried to keep her voice even. 

He apologized and ordered her soda. His eyes never left Amy’s face. “This is my sister Raven.” He said with a grin and Raven’s stomach twisted. He used that word to push her away over and over again. He could kiss her, press himself against her and still dismiss her with a casual “sister.” He used it to separate her from all the other girls in the world, all the other girls he was allowed to touch, allowed to want. She wanted to scream at him and hit him but that wouldn’t affect him, not the way she wanted it to.  
She let one eye turn yellow. 

The laughing girl gasped. “Oh look. You have heterochromia too.”

Charles turned towards her, his face paling and his smile fading. Both girls were blonde, both were smiling, and both had two different colored eyes. They looked like sisters now, far more than he and Raven looked related. Raven smirked as she saw the anger rise in his eyes.

“Raven, get your coat please.”

\----------

Raven spent the rest of the evening stewing over the girl’s words. She didn’t know what irked her more, the girl’s casual acceptance of the word “mutant” or the way Charles echoed it, acting like Amy was like them, could understand the day to day life of being a freak. Maybe though, it was because the girl reminded her more strongly of what Raven couldn’t ever quite forget. Charles had stopped kissing her when she’d turned blue. Ultimately, it was the manifestation of her mutation that he’d turned away from. With all his talk about mutants and acceptance, maybe Charles really was just a fucking hypocrite.

“Mutant and proud!” Raven mocked out loud, spitting out her toothpaste.

She turned towards Charles, ready to fight but he only sighed and ignored her. He looked so small sitting at his desk, so frustrated and so burdened with his studies. The anger left her and she suddenly felt so. . .lonely.

“Would you date me?” The childish words were out of her mouth before she could stop them and she winced.

He didn’t even look up at her. “Of course I would. Any man would be lucky to have you. You’re stunning. ” He’d used those same words that night when she’d been his blonde and leggy dance partner, when he’d pointed out all the men who wanted her. It hurt to hear them now, hear the way he could say so casually that he would date her when he’d rejected her so soundly.

Her heart beat faster. “Like this?” Her eyes were steady as she waited for him to look at her fully, waited the beat it took him to remember when he’d left her in this form, aroused and aching for him to touch her more.

She saw the emotions play on his face for a moment. “Blue?” Her heart sank and he shook his head and she didn’t need to hear the next words. “You’re my oldest friend.”  
At least he didn’t call her sister. 

He rambled on for a moment about his responsibility towards her and how it would be wrong as he got up and crossed to the couch. In her mind, she again saw his face as he’d looked that night, pulling away from her on that very couch and stumbling towards the bathroom. She tried to press him further, knowing all the while that he was in full denial mode and that getting him to talk about it was a useless endeavor.

He stuck his pencil behind his ear as he sat down with his thesis and looked at her disapprovingly. “I don’t know what’s gotten in to you lately. You’re awfully concerned with your looks.”

She wanted to retort back, wanted to accuse him of it, remind him that he was the one who had rejected her looks, that he was the only one who gave a fuck how she looked, and that it was him stopping this from going any further, but she couldn’t.

It was one thing to suspect he wasn’t attracted to her blue form and it would be quite another to have him confirm it; watch his eyes shift guiltily as he bit his lip. She just couldn’t do it.

Raven crawled up on the couch beside him and if he stiffened at being this close to her, at touching her again on this couch, neither commented on it. She asked him to read to her and he did.

She took a deep breath and closed her eyes, trying to focus on the steady voice that had always calmed and comforted her and to ignore the deep pangs of rejection that made her sick.

It was fine. If Charles didn’t want her, didn’t want a freak, she’d find someone who did.  
\----

\------  
Raven’s resolve was firm. She’d always had a natural curiosity and she was curious about sex. She trusted Charles more than she trusted anyone but he didn’t want her, or didn’t want to want at least, and ultimately, for all practical purposes, that was the same thing. It was time for plan B. Raven just wished she had a friend, or a trustworthy person with the same genitalia at least, she could go to for advice. 

Charles was even more deeply immersed in his studies as his deadlines approached and he began sending Raven out on frequent errands. She brought him food, painkillers, paper, pencils, and coffee by the pound. One afternoon, while at the bookshop to pick up the latest tome that Charles required, Raven happened to run across a pink book titled Sex and the Single Girl. Glancing quickly from side to side to make sure that no one was watching her, she picked it up and examined it carefully. This seemed like a place to start.

She pressed it closely to her chest to obscure the title and inquired about the book for Charles at the front desk. She carefully counted out her money while she waited and when the handsome worker returned, she handed her own book over to ring up as well, her dollars strategically placed over the title. 

He turned to the cash register and when he saw her choice, looked up and smiled at her. She smiled back bravely, ignoring the blush on her cheeks.

“Come again soon.” He said, handing her a paper sack with her books in it. He winked. “And good luck.”  
\-------

Raven had never been much for reading. Charles had taught her, insistent that she learn, but patient as he helped her form the sounds and then later as he created and administered spelling tests to her. He really would make an excellent professor. She’d learned because he wanted her to and she was competent but she never enjoyed it. It was a few years before she was at the same level as other students in her class and even now she never could quite forget being teased. It had been another way she was different and Raven had hated that as a little girl.

The first night she climbed into bed with Sex and the Single Girl though, Raven began to devour it. She read it in all the spare time she had, on breaks at work, when she was forced to accompany Charles to the library, and while she sat in the kitchen, waiting for the coffee to brew or the water to boil. She’d never read an entire book so quickly. She believed in it. She desperately wished she didn’t have to rely on Charles for the roof over her head and the food in her mouth. She wanted to be independent. As much as she loved him, she did miss the freedom she’d once had, the ability to live without thinking of anyone else. On those nights when they’d fought and she’d have to pluck herself up to apologize or grovel to him, she longed for that freedom from people and all the obligations they seemed to invite. 

She loved that the author advocated sex before marriage or even instead of it. The only marriage Raven had seen closely had been Sharon and Kurt’s and that would probably feed her aversion for life. And Raven should be able to have sex. Charles did and he wasn’t married. Charles had sex like it was suddenly going to up and disappear on him. Raven wanted that.

The book was pretty fuzzy in general though. It gave eating and exercise and make up tips and suggested ways to be sexy. But it didn’t tell Raven how to, well, have it. Sure, there were ideas about how to attract a man but Raven didn’t think that would be a problem. Funny how being able to turn into every man’s fantasy seemed to open her dating pool up to everyone but the one man she was interested in.

It was time to figure this out on her own.   
\----------

Being safe was the first step. The last thing Raven wanted was a baby right now, or maybe ever. She knew about the protection that Charles used and that was all well and good but she needed something for herself. The pill was only available for married women but it seemed like her best bet. It was surprisingly easy to lift a purse from the chair of a married woman having a long late lunch with her friend. Raven turned a corner, transformed into her and marched over to a doctor’s office. A lot of paperwork, a few improvised stories, and an embarrassing exam later and she had a six month supply in a little brown bag. Raven dropped the purse off at the police station, claiming she’d found it on a park bench, and she was home in time for dinner.

Being comfortable with herself seemed like the second step. She didn’t want a repeat of her night with Charles. She still couldn’t believe that her first intimate touch from a man had so unhinged her that she had lost complete control of her power. That wouldn’t do next time around.   
When she emerged from the shower that night, she wrapped a towel around her naked body and looked at herself in the mirror thoughtfully. She needed control. Biting her bottom lip, she slid back into her blonde form and walked the few steps through the living room to her bedroom, leaving wet footprints on the carpet to mark her route. Charles, immersed in a book, didn’t even look up.

Raven stepped into her room and closed her door. She took two steps forward and then quickly turned around and locked it, pulling a chair from her nightstand over to jam beneath the knob. She didn’t think Charles would try to play locksmith again, but she really didn’t need an audience for this. When she was satisfied with her privacy, Raven finally turned off all her lights and dropped her towel, stepping out of it as it pooled at her ankles.

Goosebumps immediately formed on her bare skin and Raven hurried to her bed and climbed beneath the covers. She just sat quietly for a moment, feeling silly. She never slept naked and she felt ridiculous and self-conscious. This had been a stupid idea. She turned towards her night table, prepared to switch her lamp back on and flip through a magazine for a while when she stopped short at the brown package of pills and the pink book sitting there. Raven shook her head and flopped back onto her back. 

She wasn’t sure how to start and she briefly contemplated being blue, being her most comfortable, at least this first time, but she disregarded it. She wasn’t sure she was ready to let anyone but Charles in on her little secret yet, so she had better get used to the level of concentration required to keep her disguise in place when she was aroused.  
She settled back against her pillows and slowly spread her knees apart under the covers, stopping when her feet were firmly planted on opposite ends of her narrow twin mattress. Next, she took a deep breath and, blushing, slid her right hand down her body. Despite living with this look for most of every day, the smooth white skin covering her breasts and abdomen and every other inch of her still felt foreign when she touched it. 

She began by tickling gentle fingers over odd places on her body, across her sternum, up her thighs, over the soft skin about an inch south of her belly button. Her stomach muscles spasmed at that last touch and she giggled at the pleasure and discomfort it caused. She imagined what it would feel like for someone else to touch her there, in that spot that fell just above the underwear line and would tease unbearably. How much that touch would make her wish, maybe even beg, for that hand to drop a little bit further.  
Raven closed her eyes and relaxed. Maybe teasing would be good. Maybe knowing that she wanted a hand between her thighs was reason enough to avoid it for now. Her hands slid upwards instead as she recalled the way Charles had eyed her cleavage and the hot wet kiss he’d pressed to her breast. She squeezed her left breast gently as she imagined his mouth there, licking and sucking at the swells of her chest before he reached a pink rosy nipple and, with a wink and a smile, bit down. She pinched her own hard nipple and gasped, enjoying the warmth that was spreading through her. Cupping both breasts in her palms, she massaged them a moment and arched her back before she let them go and pushed her hands down her body.

She was picturing Charles again before she could help it, imagining his hands sliding over her ribcage and over the expanse of her stomach. It was his hands that came to rest at her knees before sliding slowly, teasingly up to rest at the top of her thighs. 

Raven shook her head forcefully to rid herself of the mental image of him and rested her hand gently over her mound. She marveled at the intense heat she felt there and the way her body was responding to this slightest of touches. Her fingers danced lightly over the sensitive skin before she took a deep breath and parted those lips with her finger.  
Oh she was wet, embarrassingly so. She was hot and sticky and the ache in her belly intensified. It was a sharp strange, almost painful feeling that settled low inside of her and she wasn’t sure how to get rid of it. She began exploring herself with gentle, nervous fingers. After a moment, she spread the lips of her vagina with her second and fourth finger and with her middle finger gently rubbed. It was like a shock of electricity zipped up her spine and Raven’s eyes shot open, sure she’d turned blue but it was the familiar white hand between white thighs that she saw.

Her breathing quickened as she found the hard little pebble between her thighs again and rubbed. She got bolder and began to work it between two of her fingers, rubbing and pinching it gently. It felt so good and she could feel the ache intensifying. Unsure of what she needed, Raven began to push harder on the nub and then hissed in pain. She backed off for a moment, the sensation too intense, and instead slid her hand back down to probe curiously at the heat inside. She quickly slid one long middle finger inside of herself and gasped in shock at the slight pain of the intrusion and then the sudden tightening of her own clenching muscles. 

Raven immediately felt the shift and when she opened her eyes again, she saw blue. Frustrated, she tried to shift back to her blonde form but she was too aroused, her concentration completely wrecked at the feeling of her sticky thighs and aching pussy. 

Tears of anger pricked at Raven’s eyes as she sat up and pressed her thighs tightly together. How was she ever going to have sex with someone else if she couldn’t even keep it together with her own body? Frustrated, Raven stood and grabbed her bathrobe, striding past Charles’s questioning face as she went to take her second shower of the night.

\------

Raven met Phillip a week later. She was still busy stewing about her seeming inability to reconcile arousal and concentration when she bumped into him, literally.

“Oh God. I’m sorry.” She said, immediately bending down to pick up the papers scattered across the first floor hallway where Charles’s office was located. 

“No, I’m sorry. I was really excited and I wasn’t paying attention, and oh I think I ruined your lunch.” The man gestured to the brown bag Raven had been carrying that now contained spilled soup and a bunch of soaked croissants.

“It’s not a problem.” Raven said, shaking her head. 

“No, there’s no excuse for my clumsiness, really. The least I can do is replace your lunch?” He was about twenty years old and cute, in a non-conventional way.  
Charles was waiting for her, hungry and eager to tell her about whatever he’d been working on. She bit her lip and smiled at the stranger. “Ok, I’ll come.”

He bought her a sandwich at a cart and they sat on a bench and ate while he told her about his latest chemistry class. He was smart and tended to get carried away with his own brilliant ideas, gesturing a lot with his hands and lecturing to her as though he was teaching a class. Raven liked him and she blushed as she realized she just might have a type.

When they finished, she bought another sandwich from the vendor and walked back towards the science building. Phillip looked questionably at her food but walked her back anyway, asking her questions about her job and complimenting her on her cute American accent.

“Well Phillip, thanks again. It was nice to meet you.” Raven said, taking his hand and shaking it.

“Nice to meet you, Raven.” He agreed, blushing as she experimentally brushed her thumb over the back of his hand. 

Charles’s timing was perfect as always. “I thought I heard your voice out here. I’m famished! What’d you bring me?” He grabbed the purse off of Raven’s shoulder and began digging through it nonchalantly as he walked back into his office. 

Phillip looked at her, hurt. “Oh, I didn’t-” he began.

Raven glared at the back of Charles’s head. “No, no. Come here.” She tugged on his arm and pulled him into the office. “This is just Charles.” She explained. He appeared unmoved. “My brother.”

She watched Phillip’s face shift and his expression melt and she suddenly understood exactly why Charles introduced her that way. No one else could understand what they were to each other and this, it was so much easier.

“Oh ok. Well maybe I’ll see you around again soon.” Phillip’s smile was bright as he walked back out of the office and down the hall.

She turned to Charles. He was seated back at his desk, cardigan unbuttoned, sandwich already half consumed, and he was flipping the pages of his textbook again.

She rolled her eyes at his single-mindedness. She turned back to her purse, digging around for the cookies she had stashed in there for him as well. She looked up in surprise as Charles spoke.

“See, told you that you were stunning.”  
\-----------

She did see Phillip around again after all. He was sitting in that same hallway reading through notes when she and Charles barreled in laughing late the next night. Charles had just turned in the final draft of his paper and he was driving her nuts recounting the flaws he knew his professors would see in it and Raven had talked him into a movie to shut up him and his nerves. She then had somehow talked him into letting her pick it. As a result, instead of a pretentious foreign film, they’d stuffed themselves with popcorn while watching a monster movie. When it was over, Charles had insisted he needed another book from his office, and he spent the entire walk to campus quoting the scientists mockingly and then explaining why they were inaccurate. 

Phillip stumbled through an awkward hello when he caught sight of her and Charles looked surprised, his arm dropping from around her waist. Charles pushed her towards   
Phillip before slipping inside his office and locking the door behind him.

“Traitor.” She muttered, absolutely certain that Charles was on the other side of the door listening. 

In the end, she and Phillip arranged to meet for lunch the next day with minimum awkwardness and Charles bustled her back towards their apartment shortly thereafter. On the way, he slipped his hand through hers, intertwining their fingers and squeezing her palm. 

“Phillip seems like a good guy and you deserve that. You deserve everything in the world, everything good. You deserve to be so happy.” He said quietly.

“Thank you.” She returned quietly.

He took a deep breath. “You’re the most important person in the world to me.” He began again haltingly. “You are everything to me. You’re the only person who loves me and you’re the only person I love. And being that person just know, I’d never let anyone hurt you.” He paused. “Not even me.”

“Charles-“ Raven began cautiously.

He smiled at her a little sadly. “He’s a good guy.” He repeated. He brought her hand up to his palm and kissed it. “Let’s go home.”  
\---------  
So Raven dated Phillip. He was nice and polite and absolutely worshipped Charles. The three seemed to spend evening after evening together laughing uproariously. She probably shouldn't have been surprised. Everyone loved Charles. Why would her first boyfriend be any different?

Well, if he were her first boyfriend. It was hard to tell. He held her hand when he led her to her seat in a restaurant and when he walked her home. But Charles did that too. Phillip pressed closed mouthed kisses goodnight to her that didn't feel much different from the ones Charles typically offered her before bedtime. The one time she'd opened her mouth against Phillip, he'd blushed furiously and fumbled backwards, mumbling out an excuse. She would have been offended had she not also caught sight of the shadow of an erection tenting his pants.

She found his reaction thrilling. Phillip was shy and maybe a little old fashioned and she could tell he found her daring and maybe even occasionally inappropriate. It made her feel like a bad girl in the best way. When they went out she wore short skirts and was sure to cross her legs just so, delighting as she waited for Phillip (or sometimes even Charles) to notice. She loved the way the gaze lingered, half acknowledged.

Raven had never before realized the power of her female sexuality. Each averted gaze, each nervous shift, each instance of quickening breath fed her ego. She brushed her arms and her thighs against Phillip when they sat next to each other and she thrust her chest forward whenever he leaned into her body. She drank in his embarrassment, but even more, the desire she saw underneath those blushes. Even nice guys couldn't control their emotions all the time. Charles had taught her that.

Ultimately though, a boyfriend who was playing hard to get was frustrating. Teasing was entertaining, sure, but it didn't come close to satisfying the burning fire of curiosity inside of her.

Her nighttime experiments had become more than habitual. She seemed to spend every night with her nightgown hitched up and her fingers sticky, and she was left itching and on edge most of the time. She wanted so badly to be touched, to feel the hard press of an erection between her hips again. But Phillip wouldn't even stick his tongue in her mouth. 

It seemed like the hundredth time Raven, Charles, and Phillip had drank a few rounds at the pub (well cola for her under Charles’s watchful gaze). Charles was presenting his dissertation in the morning and had insisted on an early evening so they headed home well before last call. As had already become custom, Charles bid them adieu on the front step to say their goodnights and had gone inside. As he always did, Phillip leaned forward to put an arm around her waist and kiss her sweetly. 

Raven had spent most of the night squeezed in between two hard male bodies that had gotten progressively friendlier as the evening progressed. Phillip had draped a casual arm around her shoulder and Charles, in fact, had even spent the last hour with his hand on her thigh beneath their table. She was understandably keyed up. “Come inside.” She whispered against his lips. 

“What?” Phillip’s voice was loud in the dark and Raven sighed.

“Nevermind.” She said. “I just thought you might want to come in.”

Phillip blushed. “We’re not married though.”

Raven’s arousal immediately melted away as she was bombarded with images of baby diapers and casseroles and herself in an apron. “Ok, good night.”

Phillip looked confused. “Good night!” he said to her retreating back.

Raven sighed again as she closed the apartment door behind her.

“What’s wrong?” Charles asked, looking up at her from where he was stretched across the couch with a book on his chest. “Did Phillip do something?”

Raven flushed in embarrassment and irritation. “No, he definitely didn’t do anything. Not at all.” she grumbled.

Charles laughed. “And that’s bad?”

“I dunno.” She said with a shake of her head. Raven dropped her jacket on the floor and kicked off her heels before stretching out beside Charles on the couch, sliding her hands up his chest and resting her chin over them.

“Well cuddling is always good I suppose.” He wrapped an arm around her back, his fingers gently pulling on her blonde curls. “Do you wanna talk about it?”

She shook her head again. “Read to me.”

Charles chuckled. “You don’t think you’re getting a bit old for that routine?”

She lifted her head. “I’d still get in bed with you every single night if you’d let me.” She winked.

He blushed furiously and shifted. “Raven-”

“Don’t tease me then.” She returned. “And read.”

Charles cleared his throat and began his book again.

Though he started somewhere in the middle, it took Raven only a paragraph to recognize the book. He’d read her Frankenstein probably half a dozen times when they were growing up, usually in October to set the mood for Halloween. The scary passages had always given her an excuse to snuggle close to him and bury her face in his neck but truthfully Raven had always felt empathy for the monster, never fear. 

Tonight though, she heard but didn’t listen, letting her best friend’s voice wash over her, the words blurring together. His fingers had stopped pulling at her curls and were now stroking absently across her neck and over her ear lobes in the particular way she had always loved. She closed her eyes and wriggled around like a contented cat, murmuring her appreciation with a grunt. She felt his chuckle reverberate in his chest. 

Raven giggled back and swung a leg over his hip to snuggle him even closer to her. She froze as her long lean thigh came in contact with the hard heat of a straining cock. Charles gasped, his recitation faltering only momentarily as he reached down to push her leg away from him. 

“Er hem” He cleared his throat. “But I now indulge in dreams of bliss that cannot be realised. What I ask of you is reasonable and moderate; I demand a creature of another sex, but as hideous as myself; the gratification is small, but it is all that I can receive, and it shall content me. It is true we shall be monsters, cut off from all the world; but on that account we shall be more attached to one another.”

She rolled her eyes at his denial and experimentally pushed slid her leg back up, brushing over his groin gently and smiling triumphantly when his erection jerked in response. 

“Raven!” he hissed.

She bit her lip. “Just. . .keep reading.”

He looked at her warily but began to recite again. Raven pushed herself up onto her knees and carefully straddled him, settling herself gently over him so that the crotch of her underwear was pressed against the bulge in his trousers. He took a sharp breath but she didn’t move any further and he began to stutter out the lines of the book again. 

Raven took a few deep shuddering breaths to steady her nerves but her heart only beat more quickly, her fingers shaking on her spread thighs. They were both unnaturally still, seemingly afraid that breathing too heavily might break the moment. He reached the end of a chapter and paused. 

“Keep going.” She croaked out. The press of his cock against her had made her dripping wet and she could feel how soaked through her panties were. She knew that if and when Charles made her move that she’d leave behind a wet spot on his trousers and her face burned red at the thought.

Charles began another chapter and at the same time, agonizingly slowly he began to rock his hips upward. Raven gasped and instinctively leaned forward slightly, bracing one palm against his chest as she rotated her hips to meet him. Charles gulped and the barest trace of a grin chased across his lips. Encouraged, he immediately quickened his pace, seeming to tune out Raven’s small panting breaths as he continued to read. Raven rocked more quickly in response, pressing her hips down to his as she rolled her hips in a small circle. “Fuck.” She hissed.

Raven swore she felt his erection swell even more beneath her at her curse and she moaned. Charles grabbed her by the hip to steady her and pushed himself hard against her, snapping his hips like he was really truly fucking her. He pronounced the words of the story in a sharp staccato rhythm. “I. swear. By the. Sun. and by the. Blue sky. Of. Heaven.”

“More.” She bit out. 

Charles dropped his hand from her hip and moved to push up the fabric of the front of her skirt. He brushed his thumb against her through her panties and cursed at the feeling of how wet she was through the fabric. 

“Yes. Please.” Raven whimpered.

Taking a deep steadying breath, Charles began to circle her clit slowly, applying only light pressure. Raven squirmed against his fingers. 

He began again. “and by the fire of love that burns my heart”

“Not enough.” She whined loudly, placing her hand over his to try and guide his fingers to ease the ache.

Charles looked up at her through hooded eyes, seeming to search her face. “Fuck it.” He finally declared, throwing the book aside and grabbing her by the hips to flip them over. He spread her legs wide as she landed on her back and pressed himself between them, thrusting against her roughly. Raven moaned and grabbed him by the head, curling her fingers into the hair on his neck and pulling him down to look her in the eye, their faces only inches apart. She felt his warm breath ghosting over her lips and Raven desperately wanted to kiss him again.

Just then, Charles slid his hand between them again to toy with her clit once more, pinching it softly as he thrust up and into the v of her legs, the rough feel of his fabric chafing her thighs.

Raven felt a painful tightening deep in her stomach and she began to shake. This only seemed to encourage Charles who kept up the rhythmic pace against her underwear and began to suck at her neck. “Good girl.” He murmured. “Feels good, right? Just a little bit more. Come on. Let go. Let go.”

All of a sudden Raven felt her body seize up and she spasmed hard a few times as a wave of pleasure pulsated through her. It was hard to describe but it left her gasping and more relaxed than she could ever remember feeling.

Charles was laying gentle kisses across her breastbone when she opened her eyes again. “Hello.” He said with a smirk, tongue darting out to lick a strip across a blue scale. She shivered at the sensation before tensing.

“Wait, I’m blue.” She cried, struggling to sit up.

Charles held her down. “That you are. I think you turned the second you orgasmed. Fascinating, isn’t it?” 

Raven looked small and uncertain. “You’re not disgusted?”

Charles laughed. “Flattered if anything. The last time we, you know, I thought you turned because I’d frightened you. But I watched your face the whole time. You definitely didn’t look frightened.” He paused and considered. “Though turning blue for Phillip might not be a great idea.”

Raven blushed and then felt sick as an echo of something she recognized as guilt washed over her. “Right.”

Charles looked hesitant. “Are you ok?”

She nodded. “I am.”

“Ok.” He kissed her gently, chastely, on the lips and stood. “I’m gonna get in the shower. Take care of this.” He gestured vaguely down to the comical jut of his erection in his trousers and blushed. 

Raven couldn’t help the giggle that escaped. “I could” she offered vaguely.

He shook his head. “It’s fine. I think we’ve had quite enough excitement for tonight and I have to get up for the big day tomorrow anyway.”

Raven nodded. “That’s right, Professor.”

He blushed again, shaking his head. “Good night.”

Her yellow eyes followed him as he walked into the bathroom. She wasn’t sure how or why things had shifted but when it came to Charles, Raven suddenly felt like the possibilities were endless.

\----------

Raven was smiling from ear to ear and clapping so hard that her hands hurt when they finally called his name: “Charles Francis Xavier, Professor of Genetics.”

When she finally managed to find him in the sea of chaotic proud families, she threw her arms around him and squealed. “You were amazing, professor. Your presentation was fabulous.”

Charles looked at her with a smirk. “Uh huh. I thought my thesis sent you right off? I’m pretty sure I could hear you snoring right around page ten.”

Raven blushed and winked as she slid her arm through his. “Well, that will just prepare you for the many years you have ahead with students like me.”

Charles laughed as he opened a wide heavy door of the auditorium for her. “I hope I don’t have students like you! As I recall, you spent most of tenth grade in detention.”

“Shut up.” She returned, opening a big black umbrella as they stepped outside. She found the light pitter patter of the rain against it oddly comforting. She snuggled up against him again. “So how does it feel to be a professor?”

He made a face. “Don’t call me that. You don’t get to be called a professor until you actually have a teaching position.”

She squeezed his arm. “I know but it suits you.”

“Don’t say that. Do say ‘Let’s go and have a drink then.’” He said playfully.

She rolled her eyes and obliged, their feet already following the familiar path towards his favorite pub.

***  
Raven was always amazed at how much Charles could drink. She watched him chug, cheering him on with everyone else and wondered how much longer this side of Charles would last. She didn’t know many professors who spent their evenings crawling for co-eds. Every professor she’d ever met seemed to walk around with permanent frowns on their faces. It made her a little sad to think of Charles settling down and going bald, his trademark smirk disappearing under the weight of responsibility. She supposed now that he had graduated he was running out of excuses for not saving the world one mutant at a time.

He finished his drink to cheers of applause and she pushed the maudlin thoughts out of her head. “I’m so proud of you!” She said, wrapping her arms around his neck. She felt like she’d hugged Charles a million times today but wasn’t remotely tired of doing so. Her eyes widened a little as his hand slid down over her waist and brushed against her ass, a tease and a promise all in one. 

“I need another drink.” He said, pulling away. “And you need another cola.”

She rolled her eyes but kept her mouth shut, watching him walk towards the bar on unsteady legs. One of his old conquests, Amy, was up there waiting for him, and Raven’s lip curled in disgust. Before she could go over there and interrupt though, a thin and beautiful brunette walked up to him and pulled him aside.

Raven could hear the pickup lines slipping off his tongue, knowing they were a second nature reaction now. She found it didn’t even bother her, not when he’d woke her up that morning with a long kiss and a wink, telling her to hurry up or they’d be late. It was his nature to flirt, with both men and women if she were being honest. From the looks of it though, it wasn’t working on the pretty girl.

“Hey Raven.” 

She turned around in surprise. “Hey Phillip.” She yelped. 

He grabbed her by the arm and steered her into a table. “Sorry I couldn’t sit with you at the graduation. I looked for you after but you and Charles I guess didn’t wait for me.”

Raven blushed, feeling guilty. It hadn’t even occurred to her to wait for Phillip and she was sure it hadn’t occurred to Charles either. They’d never waited for anyone but each other. It was sometimes hard for Raven to remember that anyone else mattered. “I’m sorry.” She muttered.

“That’s ok.” He said, reaching across the table and taking her hand. “I’m just glad I found you now.”

They were deep in conversation when Charles returned to the table half an hour later. He was breathing heavily, so excited he was practically jumping up and down. He grabbed her by the hand and tugged her up.

“Charles! I loved your presentation! Congratulations!” Phillip said, looking up. “Can I buy you a drink and talk about it a little bit more? Your theory about mutations is interesting but pretty farfetched. Do you really think we’ll eventually have humans around who can read minds or have scales instead of skin?”

Raven blushed but Charles just looked impatient. “Some other time maybe.” He flashed a fake smile at Phillip. “Come on Raven.” He started to pull her up.

Phillip put an arm on her shoulder to keep her seated. “Actually, Raven and I had plans. We were going to go to the zoo.”

Raven bit her lip and turned to Charles. “I know it’s your graduation but I thought you and Rob and the other boys were gonna keep drinking all afternoon so I said I’d go.” She blushed and added in a whisper. “I thought I needed to talk to him about you and I anyway.”

Charles looked confused, obviously far too caught up in whatever crazy idea was in his head. “I need you though.” He said simply, as though that explained everything. Raven felt annoyed and then realized that in the past, it had. If he needed her, no explanation was needed.

The guilt had kept her awake for most of the last night though and she really wanted to clear the air with Phillip. “Can’t it wait?” she asked.

Charles started tapping his feet. “No. It really can’t. I have so many important things to tell you.”

Phillip still looked confused. “I don’t mind listening.”

“You wouldn’t understand. You’re not like us.” Charles returned rudely.

“Charles!” she hissed. 

Phillip adored Charles and now looked like a kicked puppy. “It’s ok Raven.” He murmured. “It’s your family. I don’t want to intrude.”

She sighed, annoyed with both of them. “I’ll call you later.” She finally said to Phillip.

Charles nodded at him and threw a wad of cash onto the table before he dragged her outside and flagged a cab, muttering something about “no time at all.”

He hurried her into the taxi, rattling off their address as he fished around in his pocket for a pen and a small spiral he kept there.

“Charles, you were awful to him! He didn’t deserve that!” Raven cried.

The cab lurched forward and Charles shook his head. “He wouldn’t understand. Raven, there are more. I saw them. We’re not the only ones anymore. A red one with a tail, one who could create wind from his hands, and a diamond woman, DIAMOND. We’re not alone! Do you know what this means?”

His was so excited that his eyes were shining. Raven’s stomach ached. The news only made her uneasy. “More mutants?” she asked hesitantly in an undertone.

“Of course!” he returned. “I’ve said it since that night we met. We couldn’t be the only ones. And we’re not. Moira has met them. She wants to help us find them! This is the first step, Raven. The first step to everything, to the rest of our lives. Everything’s going to be different now!”

Raven was silent the rest of the ride, the word settling over her. Different. It seemed so rarely in her life that different had ever meant anything good for her. 

Charles stuck a fistful of cash at the driver and led Raven into their flat. “We need to pack! We’re leaving for America tomorrow!”

“What?” Raven cried. “We?” She felt tears prick her eyes. Things were happening so fast. “You didn’t even ask me.”

Charles stopped, confused. “Well of course you’re coming with me. I wouldn’t leave you behind.”

“It’s not about you leaving me. It’s about you making decisions for me. It’s about you getting excited and running over everyone and everything that isn’t exactly the way you want it. You’re making me move to America without any notice. And Phillip, you really hurt him just now!” Raven cried. “Why would you do that to him?”

“Phillip?” he asked blankly. “Why are you so concerned with Phillip? You’d rather stay with him than go with me? I mean I know you and he are dating but after last night I thought-”

“Charles. Stop. I’m just ten steps behind you. I’m scared. I don’t know what’s going on. And I’m getting too old to follow you blindly. I need to know where you intend to drag me, especially if it’s going to involve diamond women and men who resemble demons.”

He paused in the midst of pulling their suitcases out of the hall closet. “Ok. Well I guess we should start with Moira.”

He sat back on the small couch and Raven curled up beside him, laying her head on his shoulder. “Tell me.”

He kissed the top of her head and recounted his conversation, his excitement, and their plan.

When he finished, Raven’s heart was beating hard but she nodded. “Ok. I’ll go.”

Charles grinned widely and grabbed her, twisting her around to face him as he surged forward and kissed her. “Thank God!” he cried, pulling away from her. “I can’t do this without you. I’d just have had to slip you a sedative and kidnap you.”

“Oh. So how you get all your dates?” she winked, giggling.

“Oh you think you’re cute, do you?” he grinned, flipping her onto her back again and prodding her sides and stomach.

“No! You know I’m ticklish!” she screeched, squealing with laughter.

“I do know that!” Charles returned, leaning over and sliding his lips over hers again, his tongue slipping out to tease her mouth briefly. “So stop teasing.”

Raven grinned, boldly sliding her hand down below his belt buckle and gently grabbing his cock through his pants. She was amazed at her own bravery. “You sure you want me to stop teasing?” she asked, her voice low and sultry.

He began to harden immediately. “Play fair.”

Raven dropped her hand immediately, looking contrite. “Sorry.” She stretched languidly, lifting her hips and brushing against him again. “I wouldn’t want to be unfair.” She wrapped her legs around his waist and sighed happily.

“Oh dear. I seem to have created a monster.” He said in mock disappointment.

“You have.” Raven agreed. She wrapped her arms around his neck to bring their faces closely together. “What are you gonna do about it?” She pulled him in for a kiss.

They made out languidly for a while, breathing into their kisses as their hands roamed. Raven moaned encouragingly each time Charles brushed his fingers over her breasts and ass. Finally, he slid his hand between her thighs and cupped her gently through her underwear, kneading his palm against her sensitive flesh until she was dripping. Raven groaned and pulled at his belt buckle, fumbling as she finally got him unzipped and wrapped a hand around the stiff flesh.

“Whoa, whoa, wait.” Charles said, pulling away from her. “Slow down for a second here.”

“What?” Raven asked, breathing heavily. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, I just don’t want to go too far here and your hand wrapped around me isn’t gonna help with that.”

“What about my pussy? I think that wrapped around you might help a lot.” Raven blushed, the words out of her mouth before she’d really had time to process them.

Charles jerked, hardening much further in her hand but blushing. “Where’d you learn a word like that?” he asked in annoyance.

She deliberately spread her legs further. “I’m not a child.”

“I didn’t say you were.” Charles returned. “I just, we don’t have to do all this. I can do what I did last night. Or I could use my mouth. I’d love to taste you and bring you off again. That” he gestured towards his erection again. “That shouldn’t be random. It should be for someone special.” He was blushing.

Raven shook her head, amazed at his stupidity. “Charles, who would ever be more special than you? You’re everything to me. I’m up and moving to another country AGAIN with you. I love you more than anything. I trust you. I trust only you. What should I be waiting for? Someone like Phillip to up and marry me and then kill me in terror when I turn blue in the middle of sex on our wedding night?” Charles laughed and she joined in. “Sure it’s funny but it’s also a real possibility.”

“I wouldn’t let him. I wouldn’t let anyone hurt you.” Charles said quietly.

“I know.” She said, leaning up and kissing him softly. “Don’t you see? That’s why I want it to be you. Who else would do that for me? Who else could I trust to take care of me? I love you, you dumb shit. I’ve loved you since the day I walked into your kitchen. You’re my best friend. Who the fuck knows what’s gonna happen when we leave here? Besides, how goofy would it be to step back onto American soil a virgin? I mean really? Please.

Charles leaned forward and kissed her slowly. “I love you too. You say the word and we stop.”

She nodded, taking a deep breath before standing and pulling her dress over her head. She stood before him clad in only her mismatched bra and panties and smiled. “I don’t wanna stop.”

She led the way to his bedroom, determined to erase the awful memory of her in his bed pretending to be someone else with this new memory, with her as herself in his bed. She hesitated and then let her disguise fall. She turned back towards the door where he stood, blue and scaly in her white cotton panties. She was glad he’d never been able to pick out the blush on her when she was in this form. “Is, is this ok?” she asked hesitantly.

He nodded. “It’s you. That’s always okay with me.” He shed his shirt and pants as he walked over to the bed, stopping to hop on one foot as he rid himself of his socks as well. When he finally stretched himself over her on the bed, he was clad in only his underwear, a fine flush over his chest and cheeks. Raven found herself wondering if his erection would have the same rosy flush to it.

“What?” he asked, noticing the smirk on her face.

“Nothing.” She returned. “Just thinking.”

“Oh, and do I have to read your mind to know what you’re thinking about?” he teased.

Raven blushed, her face turning. “Oh God. Don’t do that. Especially not after this. I don’t want you in my mind to like see if you were good or something.” She noticed his expression and laughed. “Oh God. You do that with other girls, don’t you? You read their minds to see if you’re their best lover? You are such a nerd!”

Charles tried to smirk. “If you’re doing it right, you shouldn’t have to read their minds to know what they think of you.” She was still looking skeptical. “But ok I promise not to read your mind to find out your opinion of my sexual prowess.”

“There you go, using those big professorial words again.” She teased, running her hands down his chest.

“Shut up!” he cried with a blush.

“Or what you gonna do professor?” she purred. “Put me in detention.”

“I have half a mind to spank you!” Charles returned. 

Raven chose to ignore the spasm of arousal that clenched low in her belly at that suggestion. She filed it away to be analyzed later and returned her attention to the man in front of her. She looked at him, looming over her and felt the butterflies flair up in her stomach. “Kiss me.”

“Of course.” He murmured, kissing her again. His hands worked over her again with the softest of touches. He teased behind her knee, just below her belly button, at her collarbone, and over her hipbones He delighted in her enthusiasm when he removed her bra and touched her breasts, first with those fingers and then with his mouth. He licked and sucked her nipples, giving into her whispered demands for “more” and “harder.” 

“Lift your hips up.” Charles whispered, his head suddenly at her ear as his teeth bit down on her earlobe.

Raven obeyed mindlessly, only half registering the fact that he was pulling her last piece of clothing off. The sensation of something foreign inside of her did register through the fog in her brain and she tightened up immediately.

Charles hushed her. “Just testing. You’re pretty wet.” She could hear that he was trying to be calm, affecting his professor voice, the one he knew soothed her. The heavy breathing and the tightness gave him away though.

“I know. I’m ok. Just nervous. Go slow.” She returned.

“We can stop.” He returned.

She shook her head. “Feels good.”

Charles nodded and touched her again. He began to shallowly thrust his finger in and out of her as he brushed his thumb lightly against her clit. He watched closely and when her thighs relaxed back against the bed, he slowly and carefully added a second finger.

“Charles.” She gasped.  
He hooked them inside of her and very slowly and gently began to make a beckoning motion inside of her. She moaned and he grinned. “Nifty trick, right?”

She could only nod, caught up in the feeling. 

Charles settled on one elbow beside her, the other hand slowly and patiently working her pussy, grinning delightedly at each moan and sigh he wrenched from her throat. Soon, she was lifting up to meet his fingers, grinding her hips as she whimpered under her breath.

Charles leaned over to breathe into her ear. “Do you want to finish like this?”

She shook her head, immediately reaching down and stilling his fingers. “I want you inside me.”

He groaned, immediately pushing his underwear down over his hips, knees, and ankles, kicking them off the bed. He settled himself between her legs and lifted one, kissing down her blue thigh and grinning. She moaned softly and he looked searchingly into her eyes. “This might hurt.”

She nodded. “That’s ok. I want you.”

Charles nodded, settling her knees around his hips. He started to lean forward and then his face twisted. “Shit. I forgot. I don’t know if I have any-”

Raven clamped her thighs around him. “It’s ok. I’m on the pill.”

Charles widened his eyes. “How did you manage that?”

Raven bucked her hips once, brushing her slick lips against his cock. “Later.”

He trembled. “Deal.”

He braced one hand against the bed and Raven took a deep breath. She closed her eyes, feeling him brush against her entrance teasingly a couple of times before he steadied and entered her with one swift thrust. She hissed and he immediately leaned forward to peck her quickly on the lips a few times, his cock still seated deeply inside of her. “I’m sorry.” He apologized. “Thought the quicker the pain the better.”

Raven nodded, gritting her teeth as she adjusted to the foreign sensation. Charles murmured to her reassuringly as he kissed her face and neck and slid a thumb back down to tease her clit again. She was soon squirming against his hand again and Charles grinned in relief, pressing his lips against hers as he rotated his hips, sliding his cock part way out of her before he thrust back in. 

Raven moaned encouragingly and Charles entwined their fingers, pinning her hands above her head as he set a rhythm. His hips pressed against hers in a slow building rhythm, his cock a wonderful burn inside of her. She was aching deep inside, her pussy burning uncomfortably from the foreign feeling of fullness even as a deeper ache was urging him on. The deeper ache was purely instinctual and despite not knowing what she was doing, she found herself wrapping her legs around his hips to pull him deeper into her even as she tried to angle herself upwards to make his angle sharper. 

The sensations were warring within her and she kept hissing in pain, making Charles chuckle. “I can’t go that deep sweetie. This first time it’s gonna hurt.” He whispered soothingly, pushing her hips back down with some effort. 

Raven nodded and squeezed her inner muscles experimentally. Charles groaned, cursing. He leaned down and kissed her again, shallowing his thrusts as he began to circle her clit again. Raven groaned, her breath catching in her throat.  
Charles picked up his rhythm in response. He began to murmur against her throat , only the occasional word clear to her.

“Tight. . .Yes. . .Please. . .Fuck. . .Good. . .Love. . .”

Raven gripped his hair in her fingers, pulling as the sensation built up inside her, centering on her clit. Her orgasm washed over her suddenly and quickly. 

Charles continued to thrust against her. Raven allowed her hands to roam over his back and legs as she tried to catch her breath. She brushed her fingers over his ass and dug in. Charles groaned and shook his head. “Oh God. I’m gonna-“ And he seized up and shuddered. Raven quivered at the feeling of his cock jerking inside of her. He continued thrusting as he rode the waves of his orgasm and then finally stuttered to a stop, collapsing atop her. 

After a moment he rolled onto his side and the two just lay for a moment catching their breath. Raven smiled and looked over at Charles, who was grinning stupidly, his eyes glassy and dazed. She couldn’t help it. She began giggling, all the tension and anxiety that had been building inside of her for weeks, for months, suddenly dissipating. 

She wasn’t a virgin anymore. She dropped her hand down to her belly button and then below, pressing her fingers between her legs. She was wet and sticky and sore. She felt different and yet exactly the same. She wondered how she’d feel tomorrow, next month, when she was with her next lover, or even the next time she was with Charles. 

“You ok?” he asked.

She nodded and leaned over to kiss him. They lingered in it, tongues twining.

He brushed a hand over her face. “We have a big day tomorrow.”

She nodded. “Things are gonna be really different.”

Charles looked down. “I think they might.” He sighed and wrapped his arm around her waist. “I should get up. Start packing.”

She nodded. “I should probably talk to Phillip before we leave.”

He nodded, propping himself back against the pillows. “Probably.”

Raven crawled up and laid her head on his chest, playing with the sparse hair there as she laid a few kisses against his belly. He ran his fingers through her hair and she listened to his heart beat in his chest. 

Tomorrow they would leave, go back to America, go back home.

Both had pressing concerns and responsibilities. Both had matters that needed to be resolved. Nevertheless, the day passed with two empty suitcases in the living room and two tired bodies wrapped around each other in a narrow bed. 

Tomorrow would be a new day and a new life. Today, as they lay drowsily caressing and exchanging whispers, well today was just for them.

End


End file.
